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I've been stressed out lately over Christmas and getting all the gifts bought and wrapped. I haven't had time to enjoy the lights or songs of the holiday, and forget reflecting on the meaning of Christmas. Thankfully Linus recited the bible verse Luke 2:10-14--And the angel said unto them, Fear not, for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you this day is born in the City of Bethlehem, a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; you shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel, a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on Earth peace, good will toward men'". That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.
I'm glad we took the time to watch the Charlie Brown Christmas special with Lexi so that we could be reminded that there is more to this holiday than the presents we receive and give. I like to think that no matter what gifts we give, it will never be as awesome of a gift than the gift of Jesus' birth, and life, and ultimately death that God gave for us. The true message of Christmas has not, unfortunately , stopped me from being stressed out. I still have quite a bit to do before this evening, and I should be doing it now, but I just had to post some pics and a video.
My memories of Christmas are of being with family, staying up late, and smiling for pictures with my new toy. It wasn't about the value or number of toys, it was about celebrating with family. I think we did the same thing every year, church Christmas Eve, then to grandma and grandpas. Wrapping paper everywhere. Going home so tired, but happy. I hope I can re-create that in Lexi's life.
Alyce has given us many of the Hallmark dolls that play holiday music over the years. We were very excited to get them out this year to see what Lexi would think of them. Well, she LOVES them. She caught on how to turn them on right away. She does not hesitate to play them all at once. She give the penguins and snowmen kisses while they sing. I love seeing this holiday through her eyes, and it's lead me to decide that next year, I will focus on her and Jon first for the holiday. Not just for gifts, but for experiences. Usually I get out of town people bought for first, then everyone else, then Jon and Lexi, but this year that has lead me to be short on patience and ideas. Next year, it's all about them! Here are some pics of Lexi, and then a video of her directing her dolls. Love you all, Merry Christmas! -Jenni
Jon and my new addiction is www.paperbackswap.com I first read about it in a magazine. To get started you list 10 books you can send to people, then you can choose 2 to be sent to you. I did just that, and 2 books arrived in the mail. I mailed a few, usually at the low media mail rate of $2.38, and I got a credit to use on another book for each book I sent. A habit was formed. It seems too simple, and even too good to be true, but it is truly awesome!I love books. I don't enjoy reading so much as collecting books. I tell Jon I could have a worse addiction so he can't complain! I love book stores. I love a good book, but they are rare. Some of my favorits have been odd finds on the discount shelf- "Tending Roses" by Lisa Wingate, "The Mercy of Thin Air" by Ronlyn Domingue, "Played" by Barbara Freethy. I wish I had more time to read, but stealing a few moments before bed seems to be it. That's ok, my reasons for reading books like "Go Dog, Go" are wonderful!-Jenni
It's always nice to be home again, but I am very sad to leave our Ohio family. We hadn't been there since the summer of 2009 when I was pregnant, and we got to see tons of family and friends during that visit. But it felt like we were just there. Conversations that I've been having with these people for the past 18 years continued right where they left off. Hugs and more hugs greeted us with each visitor. And, of course, Lexi was adored. And this time, unlike last time, I got to eat! Jon's mom Alyce is a wonderful cook, and she can't just have one dessert in the house. Yum! 
I say I am sad to be home because I miss them. I always miss them, even though I may not show it. I think about our Ohio family all the time. Alyce does a great job keeping us updated on happenings, and Facebook helps too, but there is nothing like a hug. I think my journey with anxiety leads me to cling to things even harder, and I admit that clinging to family is logical to me. I think I have a type of separation anxiety that makes me very sad after a visit, any visit, because I don't know when it will happen again. We don't know when we will visit next. I think now that we have Lexi, it would be important to visit more often, but it will also be more expensive, and more of a travel challenge (more on that later.) There are phones, Facebook, and the good ole mail to help us though. For that I am thankful.
As for Lexi and flying, there have been times in the recent past that I didn't take Lexi for a walk around our own neighborhood because something in me thought it would be too much of a hassle. My fears about the trip to Ohio mounted. But that little girl did better than I ever imagined. She slept during takeoff, played with her toes, shared her crackers with the flight attendants, uh oh 'd a lot of stuff to send mommy and daddy scrambling. The highlight of the trip was our 5 hour layover on the way there in Minneapolis where she walked behind the stroller knowing she was hot stuff. The look on her face was like 'that's right, I am walking now!' It was so precious!
The trip home involved ear pain and a lot of crying, but once we figured out that giving Lexi bottled water to sip really helped, it got a little better. Lexi got to spend time with her cousins and aunts and uncles, and her doting grandparents. We really had an awesome trip. I got to bond with Alyce over parenting ideas (Love you!). I got to see grandpa Cloyce and Lexi make faces at each other with so much love exchanged. We got to see Jon's brother's and sisters and catch up a bit. And I got to relax, which was truly needed.
We also had family Thanksgiving on Sunday, and our sister Denene surprised us with a cake for Lexi's Birthday. WOW this cake was amazing. It was carousel horses, which is what I want to do for her bedroom when she's a bit older. We were surpised, and Lexi loved the cake with her whole hands and face.
Sometimes I hide at home in the intent to not do the difficult task of taking Lexi places, but I think I need to change my world view on that. Lexi loves being out. If she isn't happy, she'll let me know, and we can always go home again. -Jenni
