The other side of pregnancy

I've heard rumors of women who said they loved being pregnant. I have to admit that I've had one or two days that I've felt like maybe I can be ok with the feeling of being pregnant, but love, no. And those days are probably ones where I had forgotten that I was pregnant.

I'm just under a month to go, and all of those other things that I've heard of are starting to happen. I can't sleep, my hips hurt, my back hurts, it hurts to sit-stand-lay down. My maternity clothes are all getting very tight. It feels like baby has found a playground around my ribs and diaphragm. When there is movement, I feel it all the way to my toes. I can't eat much, and I don't care to cook. And I have rapid swings between nesting and napping.

Jon and I have come closer to the realization of reality- we are having a baby, and we love her very much already. That has been comforting. To have Jon as my partner in this adventure makes me feel more secure and more ready. We can't wait to meet her. Will she have dark hair, light hair, a big nose, long eyelashes. We will know very soon. Meanwhile, the nesting and napping will continue. I am washing clothes and trying to fold them, but they are so tiny.
Mommy to be - Jenni

ONE MONTH TO GO!!

WOW I can't believe that I will have a baby in my arms in one month. So many emotions and thoughts are going through my head right now. Jon and I are excited and nervous. There will be a learning curve, but I think we will do ok. I do wonder at what point do we look at each other and realize together that we are doing ok? I think that is the point where we really, truly, will think of ourselves as parents!

Jon took a couple of belly shots last night, and in the first one, of course, Benji was standing there with a look of excitement and love as he looked up at my belly.

The second one however...


...he looks frightened at the spectacle that is my bare belly. I think he's looking forward to being a big brother, and to all the naps mommy is supposed to take once the baby is born! He has been a good nap buddy throughout my pregnancy. And before we know it, baby will be throwing food on the floor, and Benji will realize his true happiness!
-Jen

Quick Update

At the doctor on Thursday we found out that baby is low, lower than he expected. This doesn't necessarily mean she is coming any sooner, but he was surprised that I wasn't in pain from her location. I don't think she's dropped too much because I can sure still feel her in my ribcage. Also, she's changed activity patterns. She used to move a lot when I would lay down. Now, when I'm hungry, she's hungry, and she kicks and throws a fit until I actually eat.

The doc also said that I had gained a lot of weight since my previous visit. I told him that was odd since I hadn't been eating much (again, hard to do with a child pressed against my stomach) and he said it was water weight and I need to stay off my feet. Now this isn't a full on restriction, just a hearty recommendation. Of course I took it to mean keep doing all the work you want to do before baby is born, but just rest more often. When Jon came home on Friday to find the garage completely cleaned and organized, he explained that I really do need to stay off my feet. (In my defense, I did sit often while cleaning the garage.)

It's difficult for someone as stubborn as I am to just sit when there are so many things I need to get done. Cleaning the garage was one of the major ones. Now I have a few small chores, and I will pace myself. Jon has also been doing many, many projects, so his weekends aren't really looking very relaxing... I feel bad, but a month from now, or maybe less than a month from now, our whole worlds will be different.... Can't wait. -Jenni

Diaper cakes and baby dreams

Jon and I (and baby, of course) have all been very blessed in the past few weeks. I truly think we have been blessed beyond any idea that I had of people's generosity and caring. We have had 3 showers thrown for us in the past weeks, and each one showed us how loved this baby is going to be by so many people. We now have a nursery that is well stocked up. I was overwhelmed a few months back when I looked at the empty room and realized that we would have to spend so much money for just the basics. There are now only a few things that we need to purchase ourselves. I can't thank everyone enough. The feeling of looking around and realizing the level of generosity is humbling.

I have to admit that waves of panic have been coming more often as the big day gets closer. I've experienced panic attacks for many years. I've gotten to the point that I can talk myself down by telling myself that it's only the anxiety talking and everything will be fine. That soothing mechanism doesn't work as well when it comes to baby panic attacks. I woke up in a cold sweat one night after realizing that even with all of the adorable clothing we've received, I have no idea how to dress a baby. I actually had the thought that she'd be taken away from us if I bring her out in public in the wrong clothes. Jon has been the one talking me down from this one. And I spend a lot of time googling 'what clothing do you bring baby home from the hospital in' and 'how to dress baby in layers.' I can't call this an irrational fear since it is a truth that I really don't know what to dress her in. I'm sure I'll come up with many other subjects to panic about in the future, but then again, I guess that is part of being a mom!

And I've heard from some that it is difficult to add comments to this blog. I think to sign up for a login you have to have a gmail account, and then sign up with that gmail address. I hope that helps. -Jenni